


Celestial

by Cumkwats



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Drabble, Heavy Angst, astrology references?, break up fic, i probably made this too symbolic, might delete, sorry i did this, this is angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 11:56:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7683592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cumkwats/pseuds/Cumkwats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hanamaki can't help but to ask himself why he ever thought he would be able to ever touch a star as beautiful as Matsukawa Issei and not expect to get burned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Celestial

This is him when his world stops turning. His lungs are burning; his breathing hitches and his throat threatens that he's swallowing acid. Before he knows what's happening, he drops to his knees and out stretches his arm searching for anything to hold onto. Broken, desperately grasping at the army green sleeve of Hanamaki's jacket, begging him to not leave, a despairing " _I love you_ " slips passed his lips and the words hang in the air like a pendulum. He can't even tell if he's screaming or whispering anymore. He feels like his chest is being crushed under the weight of the constricted air around him, the tension causing his pulse to hit heavy against his ribs, audible for anybody around to hear. Every regretful attribute of their relationship he's the cause of comes to Matsukawa's mind and washes him with an unshakable anguish, his face is painted red from the heat of crying and being unable to catch his breath, as Hanamaki moves his hand to his own jacket sleeve. Prying each foreign calloused finger from his clothing with a cold sting of hatred in his motions, Makki shoots a glare down to the man positioned beneath him. Balancing on his knees on the hardwood floor of their shared apartment, now bare from Hanamaki packing his possessions up earlier without Matsukawa's knowledge, with more tears welling up from his over-worked tear ducts, Matsukawa knows he looks like a mess, and he's almost embarrassed to be so vulnerable. He's never been a pretty crier.

Hanamaki wonders why he ever fell in love with Matsun to begin with. Perhaps it was the way Hanamaki's tongue curls when he says his name, how his fingertips itch to be on Matsukawa's skin, not just in lust but in wonder, in curiosity. Hanamaki has always saw fascination in the stars, the far away galaxies. _Matsukawa's eyes, the creases in his hands_ , the way these all formed together in a constellation exploding with stellar being. Everything about Matsukawa was celestial to Hanamaki. Hanamaki can't help but to ask himself why he ever thought he would be able to ever touch a star as beautiful as Matsukawa Issei and not expect to get burned. Hanamaki plays with words in his head, maybe carries encyclopedias in his pockets, and yet he forgets self-help manuals when it comes to feelings. He's captivating, an electric soul and utterly in love with the world, but he might just lose that spark when it comes to emotions. He struggles in an ethereal reality, but still craves that dark galaxy. He wants to explore the orbit of two hearts beating together. He wants to be drawn into that fantasy with Matsukawa Issei so much that he forgot that he thinks like a machine.

The glint in Hanamaki's pallid green eyes when he shoots the stale look to Matsukawa causes a flip to shift in Matsun's heart. His tears stop the ceaseless flow from his honeyed amber eyes and his arm goes limp after his grasp was torn from the jacket that hangs loosely off Hanamaki's narrow shoulders. He has no fight left in him, only the anguish of his world coming down around him, piece by piece, each hurting more than the last. Just when he thought he was crushed beyond repair, Hanamaki supplies the final blow.

"You'll crush the world under your ego one day."

Hanamaki speaks in a low growl with a twinge of threaten in his voice rather than suffering. Matsukawa offers no rebuttal as Makki turns his head from Matsun and leaves without another word, another touch, a reconciliation. 

**Author's Note:**

> Sigh i made this really angsty because i'm emo right now this was a good prompt


End file.
